LarryLeiber

Reggae Movement Softball

Tradition since 2004

2011 Season 21-4 Overall 127-62, .673

2011	21-4								16.5	r/g
	g	ab	r	h	rbi	d	t	hr	avg	slg
Nick	20	80	44	56	32	12	6	6	0.700	1.225
Matt W	9	31	17	21	19	2	3	2	0.677	1.129
Vince	16	55	21	37	14	4	0	0	0.673	0.745
LL	23	89	46	58	62	16	5	10	0.652	1.281
Von Feldt	20	72	20	44	26	5	2	1	0.611	0.778
Ryan	17	61	29	36	34	8	2	5	0.590	1.033
Parker	17	67	27	38	32	7	3	3	0.567	0.896
Zach	21	77	34	42	31	9	0	3	0.545	0.779
Chad	16	68	29	36	18	6	3	0	0.529	0.706
Zab	5	16	3	8	3	1	0	0	0.500	0.563
Voss	20	78	31	37	23	3	2	3	0.474	0.679
Kulaski	20	67	22	30	17	7	1	1	0.448	0.627
Benny	15	47	16	21	14	1	0	0	0.447	0.468
Jeff L	19	66	18	25	25	4	0	2	0.379	0.530
Metzger	1	3	1	2					0.667	0.667
Tommy	1	3	2	2	1				0.667	0.667
Steve	1	3	1	1	1				0.333	0.333
Ryan W	1	4	1	2	0	0	1	0	0.500	1.000
John	1	4	1	2	0	0	0	0	0.500	0.500
TOTAL	22	891	363	498	352	85	28	36	0.559	0.838

LEADERS
Avg (57.5 PA Min)		Runs			RBI				SLUG%
Nick	0.700	LL		46	LL			62	LL	1.281
LL	0.652	Nick		44	Ryan			34	Nick	1.225
Von Feldt	0.611	Zach		34	2 tied			32	Ryan	1.033
Home Runs		Triples			Doubles				6 pack Fines
LL	10	Nick		6	LL			16	Nick	6
Nick	6	LL		5	Nick			12	LL	3
Ryan	5	3 tied		3	Zach			9	Parker	2

Fall 10		6-2							21.8	r/g
	g	ab	r	h	rbi	d	t	hr	avg	slg
Vince	3	13	4	10	2	2			0.769	0.923
Von Feldt	4	16	10	12	7		2	1	0.750	1.188
Matt W	6	23	13	17	17	2	3	1	0.739	1.217
LL	6	26	16	19	21	6		4	0.731	1.423
Nick	6	26	14	16	10	5	1	1	0.615	1.000
Parker	4	18	6	11	7	3	1	1	0.611	1.056
Chad	4	18	8	10	3	2			0.556	0.667
Zach	5	20	9	11	12	3		1	0.550	0.850
Zab	1	4	1	2					0.500	0.500
Voss	5	20	5	9	4	1		1	0.450	0.650
Benny	4	14	6	6	5				0.429	0.429
Kulaski	5	17	4	6	2	2			0.353	0.471
Jeff Laurita	4	15	5	4	2				0.267	0.267
Steve	1	3	1	1	1				0.333	0.333
Ryan L	1	5	3	2	2			1	0.400	1.750
Ryan W	1	4	1	2			1		0.500	1.000
Nick G	1	4	2	2	2				0.500	0.500
John	1	4	1	2					0.500	0.500
TOTAL	5	250	109	142	97	26	8	11	0.568	0.868
Fall LEADERS
Avg (20 PA Min)		Runs			RBI				SLUG%
Matt W	0.739	LL		16	LL			21	LL	1.423
LL	0.731	Nick		14	Matt W			17	Matt W	1.217
Nick	0.615	Matt W		13	Zach			12	Von F	1.188
Home Runs		Triples			Doubles				6 pack Fines
LL	4	Matt W		3	LL			6
7 tied	1	Von Feldt		2	Nick			5
		2 tied		1	Parker			3

2010	21-6								17.2	r/g
	g	ab	r	h	rbi	d	t	hr	avg	slg
Parker	16	62	33	42	39	8	2	5	0.677	1.113
A-Voss	22	86	40	57	38	5	8	4	0.663	1.047
LL	26	109	58	72	61	16	5	8	0.661	1.119
Kulaski	24	97	41	58	32	7	2	4	0.598	0.835
Chad	13	47	23	27	9	8	1	1	0.574	0.851
Lester	21	79	35	45	24	3	8	2	0.570	0.886
Nick	23	87	44	49	36	8	6	5	0.563	0.966
Vince	15	52	16	29	22	1	1	0	0.558	0.615
Ryan L	25	101	40	55	36	8	4	5	0.545	0.851
Jeff L	26	93	34	50	36	6	2	4	0.538	0.774
Zab	13	43	15	23	12	3	0	0	0.535	0.605
Von Feldt	25	91	34	47	42	4	3	1	0.516	0.659
B-Mad	13	44	12	21	15	2	0	0	0.477	0.523
Damon	2	7	3	6	3	1	1		0.857	1.286
Tom	1	3	1	1					0.333	0.333
Wilhelm	3	9	4	4	3	1	1	1	0.444	1.111
Tommy	1	3	3	3	5		1	1	1.000	2.667
Zack	1	3	2	2	3	1			0.667	1.000
Tim	5	16	6	10	7	2	1	0	0.625	0.875
Nate	1	4	2	2	2	1		1	0.500	1.500
TOTAL	26	1036	446	603	425	85	46	42	0.582	0.875

LEADERS
Avg (65 ab Min)		Runs			RBI				SLUG%
A-Voss	0.663	LL		58	LL			61	LL	1.119
LL	0.661	Nick		44	Von Feldt			42	A-Voss	1.047
Kulaski	0.598	Kulaski		41	Parker			39	Nick	0.966
Home Runs		Triples			Doubles				6 pack Fines
LL	8	Lester		8	LL			16	Jeff L	4
Ryan L	5	Voss		8	4 tied			8	4 tied	2
Parker	5	Nick		6

Minor League System

Jesse Delgado (great in the clubhouse, not much of a player)
Matt Wilhelm (has done well when given the opportunity)
Benny's Kids (even at their age, would put in before Kulaski. Future Pipeline for Reggae Softball)
Jeff Kuhns (consistently inconsistent)
Mike D (brings Beastie Boys style)

ARCHIVED STORIES

2009

Chad on DL, Mark Kulaski -- WOW

Yesterday’s 9-5 loss to the Hooters, which dropped Team Reggae to 5-2 on the year, saw the loss of their gold glove left fielder for the season, their disgruntled star Mark Kulaski joyously suiting up with the other team and opened up speculation as to the cause of the anemic offensive output.

Chad Rohr, who broke his wrist while coaching first base, was put on the 6-8 week disabled list due to lack of dedication, effective today. Chad was too busy hitting on the opposing teams wives and unable to avoid the sharply roped liner off the bat of lefty Michael Parker, who was seen later bragging about the hit. Luckily, the hit struck his wrist and not somewhere it could have done far worse damage. After a brief stumble back to the fence, a white faced Chad looked at L-Ram, who was on first base, and said “I think I need to take a break.”

While the injury to Chad gave a sense of muteness to the team the rest of the night, Mark Kulaski embraced his hooter teammates with a joy that men his age are not supposed to experience. “It’s like I’m a kid again and it’s Christmas morning,” Kulaski said, “that’s how happy I am right now.” With a smile from ear to ear, he made plays from his catching position that, in his own words, “single handedly shut down” the reggae lineup.

“Did you see me tag out Zab?” he bubbled after the game, “that was awesome. And I intimidated Jeff Laurita, the most aggressive base runner in the history of D Rec Softball, into stopping at third rather than taking on this brick wall.”

While Kulaski relished in the victory over his own team, the questions abound as to the anemic 5 run offensive output against the hooters. With Kulaski moving sides, L-Ram reflected on the pressure he feels in a heart to heart with the elevated star Kulaski. “I didn’t realize how important you were to the team Mark. I will never trade you again. Parker? Voss? Sure. Nick? In a second. But I need you to be my Scottie Pippen. I can’t do this all by myself, every night, carrying this team the way I do. I need some help.”

Other conspiracy theories for the lack of production include Chad’s injury and subsequent removal from the lineup, Parker’s return from a contract holdout, and the decision of batting leader Lester Acosta removing himself from the game lineup so he can “preserve my high batting average.

Jeff pitched well, and the defense was solid behind him, but the whispers were heard about whether Vince would have held the Hooters to less than 5 runs to secure a victory. Other questions going into next week will be who fills in LF in Chad’s absence. “I don’t care about those unwritten rules in sports, “ L-Ram said about Chad, “we embrace the idea of people losing their starting position to an injury. Just don’t get injured and you don’t have to worry about it.”

Lester strategy worked and he backed into the Batting Lead at .762, followed by L-Ram (.714) and Ryan (.696) L-ram leads in both runs (16) and rbi’s (18)

Nick, whose career progression has been famously paralleled to Mark Kulaski’s early days, has nose dived this season. Logging 1 hit in the last two games and collapsing to .421 on the year, he has made the team forget all about his MVP season last year. As he approached the plate, with Kulaski catching for the other team, Mark had some encouraging and motivational words for him. “Even after my own MVP season years ago, I didn’t collapse that badly.”

Playas Like Both Sides

It was a laugher, that’s for sure. On a night that saw every roster spot show up, Team Reggae staged their third straight 10 run rule on another team to started the season 3-0 after their 25-9 rout of FOP Plum Sluggers. Against a new team to the league, and the last team in the league without a loss, Reggae Softball could have made the score much worse had they kept up their regular hard core intensity.

FOP showed emphatically the importance defense has to a softball team. Regular pop outs fell to the ground, helping everyone to pad their stats throughout the night. After posting 15 runs in the first inning, the team naturally decided it was time to enjoy the rest of the night. Switching roles in the field, and, of course, switching sides at the plate.

Kulaski’s stroke from the right side raised questions about his natural dominant arm. Some whispers asked whether Kulaski’s crappy performance at the plate the last few years were from him batting from the wrong side. From the left side, LL had a excuse me HR down the left field line and Von Feldt weakly, very weakly, popped up to the catcher.

Vince, continuing to stoke the pitching controversy between father and son, struck out 5 batters throughout the night. Pitching records haven’t been kept, but it can nearly be certain that 5 strikeouts is a new record, and sets a bar his son will not be able to top. It also raised questions in the clubhouse about “Jeff who?"

Ryan, who will be heading out to Ethiopia on Friday, will meet his new son as the batting leader after 3 games, hitting .818. Our sources in Addis Ababa have found that his softball exploits have warranted a national holiday to be named in his honor, including a ticker tape parade.

Lester and Voss follow behind him, both batting over .700. LL and Chad lead the team in runs with 8, and LL, who had 5 rbi’s last night, has the most on the team with 11.

Team Reggae Takes Opener in 20-5 Rout

Although a bit of rust may have presented itself out in the field a few times, Team Reggae’s bats picked up where they left off last season as they drubbed their rival Seriene 20-5 this past Tuesday night to start the 2010 season.

Behind 4 homeruns, including the slowest home run ever recorded in organized softball history by Michael Parker, The RM hit parade rotated through the lineup until it was stopped regularly by their new leadoff hitter Mark Kulaski. Mark being Mark? Mark appeared to show up with a promising new attitude, putting the bitter contract dispute in the offseason behind him. But soon the old Kulaski reappeared. Making his return from offseason inactivity, Mr. Kulaski found himself the recipient of boos from disgruntled fans and teammates who thought his lack of effort in running out a ball was less than what we expect. “He gave 10%,” Andrew Voss said, “anything less than 15% effort on this team is simply unacceptable.”

Although team management still has some serious issues with Nick’s lack of dedication to practice and other team activities, they can hardly be disappointed with his performance at the plate. After the team picked up the option on his contract in the offseason for the next 2 years, Nick rewarded management by knocking in 6 runs on 2 home runs and 1 triple. “Doesn’t mean Nick doesn’t suck!” one anonymous teammate chided on his way out.

Team management was happy with the turnout in the stands. “In a recession, it’s nice to see people come out there. We have a lot of bloated contracts to pay for,” Said Director of Ticket Sales Chad ‘Lion’ Rohr. “Although some of the core season ticket holders weren’t there, it was nice to see some new faces in the stands. Still no human LCD though.”

PITCHING CONTROVERSY? Far be it from us at LMZ to promote drama, as we just report the facts of the story, but in a developing story a pitching controversy has erupted within the clubhouse. With people digging their foxholes and taking sides after Vince shut down Seriene, who had swept team RM last year with Jeff on the mound, some have been grumbling about a new era and a new season. “These are completely unfounded rumors,” head skipper LL said by self interview this morning, “but I gotta tell ya, there’s nothing like stirring the pot. I have found, in my experience, that the easiest way to motivate people to perform is by creating drama out of thin air.”

2009

RM Improves to 5-3, Kulaski slips in Power Ratings

Team Reggae beat the Bad Boys 10-8 on Thursday, improving their record to 5-3, but the real weekend fireworks began shortly after the game. Team RM also improved to 5-0 with Benny Madrid in the lineup, who will miss the next 3 weeks due to lack of dedication. Mark Kulaski and Andrew Voss, who had been having a Hatfield and McCoy type feud on who might be faster, finally decided it was time to settle the score.

Lining up along the third base line, with Michael Parker joining them, Kulaski and Voss would soon clear some dust on the latest Team Reggae Inside Edge Speed Power Ratings implemented by the organization, in addition to hitting charts, to help create efficient and effective lineups.

After a blustering, stumbling sprint down the grass to the end of the fence, Andrew Voss eventually overcame a quick start by Kulaski to barely overtake him at the finish line. Parker, who was barefoot, came up a few strides behind both of them.

The race, which ended with a controversial finish which my need another clarification, raised more questions than it answered. Was Kulaski really that quick off the start, or was there some type of starting conspiracy to give Mr. Kulaski a head start? Mr. Kulaksi’s plodding, heavy feet never gave any indication of any quickness that manifested itself at the start. But his stumbling, and falling down at the finish line, certainly was consistent.

If Mr. Kulaski didn’t stumble, would he have beat down Mr. Voss with his surprising speed? Did Mr. Voss actually win, or was the longstanding friendship with LL, the official scorer at the end, a conspiracy against Mr. Kulaski? Was Mr. Parker possible, if wearing shoes, of making up the strides he lacked in the contest? It all led to the official publishing of LL Inside Edge Speed Power Ratings to better qualify the arguments that those upon the team have.
“I am proud of the new developments,” Larry Leiber, grandmaster of speed, said in an official press release. “With the new speed ratings, we’ll be able to clear up an assertions of who may or may not be quicker than others. I’m tired of the lack of clarification, and this will do it. With the new ratings, players like Mr. Kulaski and Mr. Voss will be able to settle these types of arguments on the field just by challenging that person in front of them on the speed charts. I intentionally put Jeff Laurita at the bottom to encourage challenges.”

The organization hopes that at the next game, 6:15 this Thursday, there will be more clarification as to where people stand on the speed ratings after any challenges. Even thought Parker and Benny won’t be there, it seems there should be some more fireworks not just relegated to the July 4th weekend.

RM beats the DUDE Party

RM had a solid hitting performance, including a 11 run second inning, and steady defense to beat the dude party 19-9.

Zab, who hasn't yet made the new jersey into a sleeveless half shirt, was very excited bout getting his strokes in against the dude party. But, in the end, he ended up laying down and letting them have their way with him, going 0'fer.

Showing his range of old patrolling left field, including a web gem tracking a liner into the back corner on a dead run into the fence, LL prompted "chad who?" questions from other players and fans.

Von Feldt’s Dedication Questioned

After missing his latest game, some questions about dedication surrounded Michael Von Feldt’s decision to miss the game for a family birthday party. A second year player who is still under evaluation by the RM Softball Committee, Mr. Von Feldt said in a statement released by his camp to the press; “I really could care less about making the game. My first and foremost concern is making sure my brother’s bday party is fun. oh yeah, Kulaski Sucks”

When others on the team got wind of that, some couldn’t control their anger.

“A-Rod doesn’t skip out on a game for his brother’s birthday,” Michael Parker said in a fit of rage fueled by beer, “you don’t hear Kobe saying he can’t make game 7 this weekend because my brother’s birthday falls on Saturday.” He couldn’t control his rage any longer after that and he started saying what he really thought. “Look,” he yelled, “Kulaski sucks. That’s all there is to it. he turns 40 this weekend but he looks 50 and plays like he’s 80. Weird.”

Heard on the street…..

After hitting 2 HR in the men’s team (1 for out) and 3 bombs in the coed later that night (1 for out), Major League Softball officials have opened preliminary investigations on possible performance enhancement use by one of their greatest stars EVER Larry Leiber, also known as L-Ram.

“These allegations are all bunk,” L-Ram said in a self interview, “my increase in power is from diligent work on my core muscles through a strict regiment with Tony Little using the Gazelle Rider I bought on late night TV. If the Gazelle Rider is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

Whispers had started on the foothills golf course earlier this week as the old guy L-Ram was paired with reminded him of what Voss is going to be like in thirty years with his chatter and encouragement. “Boy, you’re really hitting the hell out of that ball, you must have hit that ball 350 yds.” Whereas L-Ram doesn’t really trust the old man’s judgment, he said he likes what he hears and is going to stick with the old man’s figures.

L-Ram, caught coming out of PT’s after their game last night, was sloppy drunk and stumbling all over the place with two babes on his arms. Really the kind of behavior you’d expect from one of Major League Softball’s greatest stars EVER. All he could muster and slur was “You want a statement? Kulaski Sucks. How’s that for a statement!”

RM GETS DRUBBED

It’s the old adage in softball. If you don’t score and the other team does, you’re going to get your ass whipped. If you get thrown out being too aggressive while in scoring position, it’s harder to score runs. Team RM were beat down by a two coach having D Rec team who set the tone early when Ryan bounced into a triple play in the first inning. That’s right, a Triple Play. One might argue that will be the only one this author will ever see in softball, but happen it did. A 6-6-3 Triple play was a wonderment to the eyes, no matter who completed it.

In the end, RM was undone by their inability to hit (13 Fly outs including a HR out), an innate ability to make bad base running choices, and an inability to keep the other team from rounding the bases. All in all, the 22-6 drubbing was little pleasure to play and dropped RM to 2-2 on the season. To add insult to injury, the only beer that was brought, by LL, was gone quickly after the game and left those wanting more dry.

LL hit his second HR of the season (and another for an out and fine), and at the ¼ season mark now leads the team in most offensive categories, including the important stat Beers brought to the game. RM is batting .461 for the season, and as a team is averaging 12 runs a game.

RM Wins Antclimatically
.... Voss News, AV Newswire.

May 7, AV Newswire - The Reggae Movement softball club took the field against the Tartans last night in the 3rd game of the Lakewood Leisure League (LLL) summer season.    Nick "the Trick" made his first appearance of the 2009 campaign wearing his signature Nebraska baseball cap (N stands for Nowledge) so we would clearly remember what kind of corn bread kid we are dealing with.

The Tartans got 2 runs off Reggae in the top of the first, but Reggae stormed back with 5 runs in the bottom of the first to take the lead and show the limited fan base who owns field #3.   Benny "Windows" Madrid's first inning at bat impressed the crowd with a couple power shots that went foul, but Benny couldn't straighten it out and was limped back to the dugout after a foul strike out that comes with a 12 pack fine. Benny later turned a 4-3 double play the get his ass back in gear.    Ryan Laurita thumped a Tartan pitch over the center field wall for Reggae's only allowed Home Run.

The Tartans showed us the cloth they were made of in top of the 6th inning as regulation time ran out. The Tartans came into the inning down 16-8, but they made it a game with a 3 run home run and other well struck singles and doubles.   The bad guys took advantage of two Reggae miscues in the final inning - Jeff Laurita's slow coverage of first base on a hit to the right side and an infielder's throwing error to first base - to extend the Tartan inning and put the pressure on Reggae Movement to shut them down or face a comeback rally in the bottom of the sixth.   No Reggae comeback was needed however because karma bit the Tartan hitters in the ass in a most appropriate way.

Having taken an unprecedented 5 walks in the game, the Tartans got their final out of the game in the most humbling of ways.   With the tieing run at 2nd and the Tartan's go ahead run at the plate with a full count, Jeff Laurita delivered his beloved 'skitter ball' pitch for a called strike 3 looking.   The Tartan hitter had froze and lost the game for his team with backwards, upside down K.   No need to heckle the kid, he'll remember that dumbass move for years to come.

Meanwhile, Reggae continued to show the league that we would rather swing the bat than walk, going 3.5 times through the 10 person line up without taking a free base due to Tartan pitching inaccuracy.

Individual performances:
Larry Leiber had 3 singles in the game to improve on an already quality season.   To counter balance Larry's performance, Mike VonFelt went 0-3 and got one hit less than Mike Parkers right testicle which received a solid pre-game shot from an overthrown softball to end up the size of a bartlet pear (no photo allowed) by game's end. Possibly due to the scrotum pain, Mike Parker made multiple bad decisions at the plate and dropped his season average, but he continued to maintain his legendry limited mobility and good glove at first base.   Chad, going 4-4 with 2 T and a D raising his average to .875, performed to the requirements of his contract and generally stayed out of the way after returning to the dugout.

Half of the Reggae team retired to Paradise Cove Bar & Grill for cheap PBR, soft tacos, and heated arguements on taking up firearms.. all the DJ's sweet sounds of Eek-A-Mouse and John Cougar Mellencamp.   Larry Leiber and Ryan Laurita have both been fined a 6 pack of beer for their unsportsmanlike conduct at Paradise Cove and are expected to get over themselves by the start of next Thursday's game or be faced with involuntary face painting.

NEXT GAME:
Thursday, May 14th at 6pm Reggae Movement will reinforce the reputation of our scheduled opponent, Just Plain Bad.

.... Voss News, AV Newswire

Shorthanded RM 10 runned

The Laurita alert was raised and Jeff Con moved to 2 after a short handed RM dropped their second game of the season this past week, drubbed by the "Bad Boys" 16-6.

The hitting never materialized, and BadBoys put up 12 runs, a lead RM could never come back from, before the 9th player showed up for RM.

Ryan highlighted the bats with a 2b and 3b in the 6 run 2nd innning.

After a random toss to the outfield from the mound, and a rolling ball walk, the Laurita Alert has been raised to Red and Jeff-Con 2 level.

HOLDOUT Controversy?

2nd year player nick weber has become a bit of an issue. Having mixed reviews in winter ball has not deterred his continued holdout from the team, stating the fact that negotiations between his agent and management has not met his expectations.

Rumors are that Nick has been demanding to bat in the top 10 of the lineup, but management has not yet conceded anything during tense negotiations with the Prima donna.

"We don't negotiate with terrorists," a source close to the talks spoke on condition of anonymity, "and that's what Nick is to us. A Terrorist!"

Alyssa, a parrot head jimmy buffet lover with random fan of the year aspirations, gave her thoughts on the developments. "Who is this guy?!? tell him to stop being such a girl."

The team hopes to work things out, but also notes that Nick is as interchangeable as Mark Kulaski and his Jay Cutler like baby demands.

RM Rolls 22-7 in Opener

LL capped a rout of Popo's Bloopers, who lived up to their name, with a 2 run shot in the bottom of the 4th to implement the 15 run rule.

Team RM retired the redneck nascar pit crew look and brought in a new "bright" hippie type look to the field.

Iron Man Streak Ends

Jeff Laurita's Iron man streak of 72 consecutive games played ended last night. Found in the corner crying, Jeff had no comment on the streak ending.

"This is a d-rec softball record that may stand the test of time. At least on team RM, i don't see anyone ever touching it," Larry Leiber said, "as far as devotion and team dedication goes, Jeff sets the bar high. I only wish that others on our team (LL Pointed to a picture of Kulaski as he shook his head) would bring the same."

News....

Chad on DL, Mark Kulaski -- WOW

Lester strategy worked and he backed into the Batting Lead at .762, followed by L-Ram (.714) and Ryan (.696) L-ram leads in both runs (16) and rbi’s (18)

LarryLeiber.com

All things Larry, up Since May of 2006

Reggae Movement Softball

Chad on DL, Mark Kulaski -- WOW

Playas Like Both Sides

Team Reggae Takes Opener in 20-5 Rout

RM Improves to 5-3, Kulaski slips in Power Ratings

RM GETS DRUBBED

Chad on DL, Mark Kulaski -- WOW